That Post-Cancer Life

The Jerk in the Mirror

The Jerk in the Mirror

At some point I parked my body in a corner and walked away.  I didn't realize I was doing it, and I really don't remember when it happened. I just looked up and realized I'd walked away from it/her. Very little exercise, mindless eating, dressing with little enthusiasm... I wanted to punish her, it seems. She let me down by getting cancer and now I wanted to flip her off and leave her there. See how that feels! In many ways my body had become simply transportation for my brain. I lacked all interest in it. But, like I said, it wasn't deliberate. I didn't even realize until recently 1) that I'd given up on my body, or 2) that I was so damn pissed.

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